Monday, March 10, 2008

Vatican Updates Its Thou-Shalt-Not List

By FRANCES D'EMILIO, Associated Press Writer

VATICAN CITY - In olden days, the deadly sins included lust, gluttony and greed. Now, the Catholic Church says pollution, mind-damaging drugs and genetic experiments are on its updated thou-shalt-not list. Also receiving fresh attention by the Vatican was social injustice, along the lines of the age-old maxim: "The rich get richer while the poor get poorer."

In the Vatican's latest update on how God's law is being violated in today's world, Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti, the head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, was asked by the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano what, in his opinion, are the "new sins."

He cited "violations of the basic rights of human nature" through genetic manipulation, drugs that "weaken the mind and cloud intelligence," and the imbalance between the rich and the poor.

Apparently, Jesus faxed this in recently from General Headquarters to the junior branches here on Earth. He felt that the old deadly sins were, "so 20th century", according to one source. Glad to see that "being trendy, fashionable, and keepin' it real" has not been designated as a sin, at least not as of yet!


Blogger willowtree said...

Hehe Frank, those are reserved for the next Thou Shalt Not list didntcha know? You'd better hop on the trendy fashionista train while the getting is good, and before the time we are all required to wear environmentally friendly potato sacks. At least we will still be able to keep it real.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Frank said...

If we can keep it real, all while wearing environmentally friendly potato sacks, well I think that pretty much guarantees a spot in Heaven for us. Yay us!

8:15 PM  

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